In real life, I don’t like creepy crawly things. I’m terrified of spiders, appalled by roaches, scared stupid of wasps, and refuse to touch any animal that might be deemed “slimy.” My wife kills all the bugs in our house. That fear adds a little gravity and catharsis to fighting the thousands of house-sized monstrosities in EDF 5 – and “thousands” is no hyperbole. During my playthrough of Earth Defense Force 5, I have thus far killed precisely 21,369 space aliens, murderous robots, and giant insects. I know this because the record-keeping department of the Earth Defense Force tells me so, and yet somehow even that astronomical number seems far too low for the amount of satisfaction I’ve derived from it – even before jumping into the excellent co-op multiplayer.